Sense of humour

Made in Japan

A Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the KLIA airport, so he took a Proton taxi. The taxi driver took his sweet time driving within the speed limit but the Jap was getting impatient.

The following is their conversation on the way to the airport .

A Toyota Camry overtook t he taxi.....zoom....
Jap: Look ..look ..Toyota!! ...very fast!!!.... made in Japan!
Proton...no good.... made in Malaysia.
Driver: yah....
After a few minutes a Nissan overtook the taxi....zoom.
Jap: look.... look.... Nissan!!!..... very good!! very fast! made in Japan! Proton.... no good.... made in Malaysia
Driver: yah....yah...
After a few minutes a Honda overtook the taxi...zooom. !
Jap: look.... look... Honda!!.... very GOOD!!....very fast!!....made
in Japan! Proton...no good...made in Malaysia
Driver: yah...yah...yah....!
Arriving at the airport,the Jap is about to pay the taxi driver.
Jap: How much?
Driver: RM150/-
Jap: Oh... very expensive..... you overcharge ! !
Driver: Noooo ..... look .... look .... Sony meter!!....very good!!....
very fast!.... Made in Japan!

hey the basket channel is actually a rubbish bin to throw unwanted things ler

Then where should i post..?

Ah Beng is a bus driver; one day got this old folks home 'pao' his bus for a day trip to Pulau Ketam.

Sitting right behind the driver's seat is Grandma Sue and from his rear mirror Ah Beng can see that Grandma Sue is happily munching away...

In the middle of the road trip, Grandma Sue tapped Ah Beng on his shoulder and asked him...

Grandma: 'Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eat peanut ai mai?'

Ah Beng: 'Tenkiu ah ma... yes I want!'

Then Ah Beng also happy happy munching peanuts... about 20 minutes down the road, Grandma Sue asked Ah Beng again...

Grandma: 'Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eat peanut ai mai?'

Ah Beng: 'Tenkiu ah ma ... yes I want!'

To make the story short, this goes on for a few more times then Ah Beng finally asks Grandma Sue...

Ah Beng: 'Ah ma ah .! ... you dont eat peanuts one meh?'

Grandma: 'No... no eat! Ah ma boh teeth la!'

Ah Beng: 'Aiks! Boh teeth then why ah ma buy peanuts leh?'

Grandma: 'No choice leh! Just now that 7-Eleven is out of chocolate so ah ma kena buy this peanut chocolate lor! Ah ma lick the chocolate around the peanut and the peanut give you eat lor

It was Friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local Catholic church to ask for the weekend off. They argued back and forth for a few minutes. Finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent for the weekend.

"However", he said, "as soon as you get back Monday morning I want you to confess to me what you did over the weekend." The four nuns agree, and run off.

Monday comes, and the four nuns return. The first nun goes to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do, Sister?" She replies, "I watched an R-rated movie." The priest looks up at heaven for a few seconds, then replies, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water."

The first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chuckle quietly under her breath. The second nun then goes up to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest replies, "OK, what happened?" She says, "I was driving my brother's car down the street in front of his house, and I hit a neighbors dog and killed it."

The priest looks up to heaven for half a minute, then says, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water." The second nun goes out. By this time, the fourth nun is laughing quite audibly.

Then the third nun walks to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "Out with it. What did you do?" She says, "Last night, I ran naked up and down Main Street."

The priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before responding, "God forgives you. Go and drink the holy water." She leaves.

The fourth nun falls on the floor, laughing so hard tears run down her cheeks. The priest asks her, "OK. What did you do that was so darn funny?"

The fourth nun replies, "I peed in the holy water..."

simmon wrote:Then where should i post..?

General Talk section

Can you move it please, thanks

At the senior citizens luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding along, when they came upon a fork in the river and the gentleman asked, "Do you want to go up or down?"

All of a sudden, the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat. When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and then continued riding along, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.

He asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"

There she went again, stripping off her clothes to make wild, passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the old gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day. She said yes, and so there they were the next day riding in the boat, when they came upon the fork in the river.

The gentleman asked, "Well, do you want to go up or down?"

The woman replied, "Down."

A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river, when he came upon another fork.

He asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"

She replied, "Up."

This really confused the gentleman, so he asked "What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down, you made passionate love to me. Now today, nothing."

She replied, "Well, yesterday I didn't have my hearing aid in, and I thought you were saying, 'F**k or drown!'"

Wah nice nice... Keep posting, Simmon.

A Lawyer and a Chinese?


A lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.?
The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get
over on them, easy.

So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game. The
Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely
declines, and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and
says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you
don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I
don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the
Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play
the game. The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance
from The Earth to the Moon?' The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches
in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
lawyer.?

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop
and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails
to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of
searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Chinese and hands him
$500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The
lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Chinese up
and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down
with four?

The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.?

Don't mess with Chinese.

u should go b comedian la.... n pass ur d300 to me... hahaah

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Sally raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons."

The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence."

Little Johnny continued, "But her tits are so big, she can only fasten eight."

ahahahah tat a good one!

Maria is a devoted religious girl. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.

At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together."

A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me, father, but you do mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"

The priest says, "I mean her legs."

First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks. Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker."

Janet responded. "Just because I am considered ugly, doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Hillary asks, "Well how do you deal with the problem?"

Janet: "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest, fart I can."

Well, that night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary headed for bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him. She tenses up her butt cheeks and forces out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine.

Bill rolls over and says, "Is that you Janet?."

Hahaha... kena caught of being "curi makan"... Hahaha....

A small guy goes into an elevator and notices a huge guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down on the small white guy and says, "Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three-pound left ball, three-pound right ball, Turner Brown."

The small guy faints!

The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him. He asks the small guy, "What's wrong?"

The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"

The big guy looks down and says "Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three- pound left ball, three-pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Thank God, I thought you said, "Turn around."

Boss and his Secretary

Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down.
His secretary walked up to him and asked, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your gate ?"
Boss was not smart enough to understood, so he went back into his office looking a bit puzzled !
When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up.
He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, then boss finally understood.. He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.
When he reached her desk, He said, "When you saw the gate open did you see my BMW parked in there ?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said,
"No, Boss I didn't. All I saw was a Kancil 600 with 2 flat tyre."
Boss went back to his office angrily ... kan ni nau bu......

muahahhahahaha eh simon, next time park your camry properly la.hahaha

maxgoh wrote:muahahhahahaha eh simon, next time park your camry properly la.hahaha

Too long, can't park properly...

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me.. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7 -eleven and grabbe d some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my
boss and told him I was 6 . He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.
He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Numbers can be so useful

simmon punya bmw sold d lo.... now only got made in japan type park inside.. hehehehe

jonathan wrote:simmon punya bmw sold d lo.... now only got made in japan type park inside.. hehehehe

I didn't know i sell it off...let me check...still park inside la

John woke up one morning with an enormous erection, so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened, though, and was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John wrote a note, called to his little boy, and asked him to bring the note to his wife. It read:

The tent pole is up,
The canvas is spread,
The hell with breakfast,
Come back to bed.

Heather answered the note with one of her own and asked her son to take it to her husband. The note read:

Take the tent pole down,
Put the canvas away,
The monkey had a hemorrhage,
No circus today.

John read the note and scribbled a reply. He asked his son to take it to his wife. The note read:

The tent pole's still up,
And the canvas still spread,
So drop what you're doing,
And come give me some head.

Heather answered the note and asked her son to deliver it to her husband. The note read:

I'm sure that your pole's
The best in the land.
But I'm busy right now,
So do it by hand!