Sense of humour

Malaysia Boleh... + gau gau

Trying to imitate whats his father had done??

[ 书香（稻香大学版）]
[ 曲: 周杰伦 词: BirdtaN ]
[ 专辑: 魔杰座（个人特加版）]
[ 唱: BirdtaN ]


对这个大学如果你有太多的压力
害怕了就不想继续读下去
为什么人要这么的脆弱懦弱
请你自己看看身边
多少人为学历在努力勇敢的读下去
我们是不是该努力
珍惜读书就算很大压力

还记得你说大学是你的梦想
随着书香课业继续奔跑
微微笑大学的压力我知道
不要哭让这首歌陪着你读书
把所有的压力全都忘掉
读书吧读到最后就美好

※music※ （好戏在后头）

不要这么容易就想放弃就像我说的
读不到的课程换个课不就得了
为自己的大学鲜艳上色
先把书涂上喜欢的颜色

笑一个吧..大学毕业就是目的
帮自己加油加油这才叫做意义
大学毕业文凭
终有一天飞到我手里 （哈哈）

所谓的那压力
面对读不完的书已读到怕了
作业学术研究企划到绝望了
还有考试呢
我靠着家人在我背后支持我拼下去
哦哦.. 家人朋友支持让我更努力
哦哦.. 就算结果失败都不会放弃
珍惜读书就算很大压力

还记得你说大学是你的梦想
随着书香课业继续奔跑
微微笑大学的压力我知道
不要哭让这首歌陪着你读书
把所有的压力全都忘掉
读书吧读到最后就美好

还记得你说大学是你的梦想
随着书香课业继续奔跑
微微笑大学的压力我知道
不要哭让这首歌的陪着你读书
把所有的压力全都忘掉
读书吧读到毕业就美好
※music※ （ 谢谢大家！）

Nice song

Should try this next time

Good idea

The pics effect is nice but about the 'landing' part.........

landing part ................ adoiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii sakit niaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Li Ren wrote:The pics effect is nice but about the 'landing' part.........

If one time success then it is not that bad, but let's say need retake. Double ouch.

nola, that one easy... just place a "tilam" where they drop, then snap when they jump with shadow. 1st important rules, the camera must shoot with tripod. then 2nd, just shoot the photos with no tilam and people inside, then combine both and there you go~~~

Master is master

maxgoh wrote:nola, that one easy... just place a "tilam" where they drop, then snap when they jump with shadow. 1st important rules, the camera must shoot with tripod. then 2nd, just shoot the photos with no tilam and people inside, then combine both and there you go~~~

Can't wait to see you in action...

The gay baby

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it.

When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the gay fathers, she points out the happy child as theirs.

'Isn't it wonderful?' one gay says to the other. 'All these unhappy babies .. and yet our baby is so happy. This just proves the Superiority of gay love!'

The nurse says, 'Oh sure, he's happy now but just watch what happens When we pull the thermometer out of his ass.

Gay baby LOL!

VATICAN HUMOR
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

A Singh was enjoying the sun at a nice beach in a neighbouring country. A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?' Singh answered, 'No, I am Banta Singh.'

Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, 'No, No, Me Banta Singh!'

Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking, he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?' The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, 'Yes, I am relaxing.'
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!'

==============================


A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that the new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance, a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with 'T'

2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered....

1. The two days of the week that begin with 'T' are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, 'OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?'

The Singh replied, 'Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,
etc...'

Saint Peter lets him in without another word.


==============================

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.

He then removes his turban and throws it away as well.. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

'Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar,' he says, ' it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief.'

=============================


Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying.

So the other asked him, 'Why are you crying?' He replied, 'I came here for a blood test'

The second Singh asked, 'So? Are you afraid?' He replied, 'During the blood test, they will cut my finger.'

Hearing this, the second Singh started crying like hell. The first one was astonished and asked him, 'Why are you crying?'

To which he replied, 'I have come for my urine test.'

Lotto Win

A husband says to his wife,

"what would you do if I won Lotto?"


She says,

"I'd take half then leave you."


"Excellent,"

he replies,

"I won 12 bucks, here's $6 - now F**k off!"

有一天，一個老太太帶著一袋的錢到加拿大銀行去，
她堅持要直接跟總裁見面開戶頭，
因為那是非常大的一筆錢！經過一陣子之後，
銀行職員終於領著老太太到總裁辦公室去。
總裁問她想要存多少錢？
老太太就把那袋錢倒在總裁的桌上，
說是 US$165,000。
總裁當然很好奇那些錢是怎麼來的，
他問老太太：女士，我很驚訝妳帶著那麼多的現金，
這些錢是怎麼來的？老太太說：我跟人打賭。
總裁：打賭，怎麼個賭法？
老太太說：舉個例子好了，我賭US$25,000
說你的"蛋蛋"是方的。
哈！總裁大笑說：那真的是個愚蠢的賭注，
這種賭注妳永遠都贏不了。
老太太就跟他挑戰說：那你敢跟我賭嗎？
總裁就說：沒問題，我賭US$25,000說我的"蛋蛋"不是方的。
老太太說：既然這是一筆大賭注，
明天早上十點我可以帶我的律師當見證人嗎？
總裁當然是很有自信的說沒問題。
當天晚上，總裁花了很長的時間在鏡子前面檢查自己的"蛋蛋"，
左照右照，直到他確定絕對不可能變成方型而且他絕對可以贏得賭注為止。
第二天早上十點，老太太和她的律師依約到達總裁的辦公室，
老太太介紹她的律師跟總裁認識並且重複他們的賭注。
US$25,000賭總裁的"蛋蛋"是方的，
總裁再次同意賭注之後，老太太就要求總裁把褲子脫下來。
總裁照做了，老太太靠近一直盯著看並問說可不可以摸摸看。
總裁有點免為其難，但是他還是答應了說：
好吧，US$25,000是一大筆錢，妳當然會想完全的確認。
就在老太太在摸總裁的"蛋蛋"的時候，
總裁看到老太太的律師正在一旁不停的拿自己的頭撞牆，
他就問老太太說：妳那個律師怎麼啦？
老太太說：沒什麼，只是我跟他賭了US100,000說在今天早上十點的時候，加拿大銀行總裁的"蛋蛋"會被我摸著玩。

老王有個開農場養乳牛的朋友叫老鄭。
老王去參觀老鄭的牧場，老鄭正在幫乳牛裝全自動擠奶器。
看見自動擠奶器上上下下搓動粉俐落，
老王歪點子一想，就跟老鄭講：
「老鄭～老鄭～你那個自動擠奶器借我一付。」
「你借那個幹麻啊？」
「你不要管那麼多啦 ! 借我就是了。」
「好啦 ! 借你啦！」
老王就把自動擠奶器帶回家啦。
到了半夜，他把那個自動擠奶器放到自己的話兒上，
想說這樣省功夫，輕鬆多啦~~
果然，開關一開，不到3分鐘，老王就..爽了.......
於是老王要開關關掉自動擠奶器，
可是怎麼都找不著開關，找著找著就又爽了一次。
唉~~短短時間就爽了兩次，老王實在是有點受不了，
可是還是找不到開關，結果又爽了第三次，老王的腰開始酸了。
喔~~真的是受不了， 不得不打電話問老鄭。
「老鄭..這..擠..奶...器...要...怎..麼...關掉啊？」
因為太爽，講話都結巴了~~
電話那端傳來老鄭的回答說：
「喔，那個是全自動的啊！裝滿一公升才會停。」

Muahahahhaa.... one liter ar... ??~!! i am very sure he will be dead with a zombie looks...

Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu.

Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?

Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!

Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna. Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.

Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu!


Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik. Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?

Murid : Faham, cikgu!



Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.

Murid : (senyap)

Cikgu : Pandai!

Murid : Bodoh!

Cikgu : Tinggi!

Murid : Rendah!

Cikgu : Jauh!

Murid : Dekat!

Cikgu : Keadilan!

Murid : UMNO!

Cikgu : Salah!

Murid : Betul!

Cikgu : Bodoh!

Murid : Pandai!

Cikgu : Bukan!

Murid : Ya!

Cikgu : Oh Tuhan!

Murid : Oh Hamba!

Cikgu : Dengar ini!

Murid : Dengar itu!

Cikgu : Diam!

Murid : Bising!

Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!

Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!

Cikgu : Mati aku!



Murid : Hidup kami!

Cikgu : Rotan baru tau!

Murid : Akar lama tak tau!

Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu!

Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu!

Cikgu : Kamu gila!



Murid : Kami siuman!



Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup!

Murid : Kurang! Kurang!

Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah!

Murid : Belum! Belum!

Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?

Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai!

Cikgu : Oh! Melawan!



Murid : Oh! Mengalah!



Cikgu : Kurang ajar!

Murid : Cukup ajar!

Cikgu : Habis aku!

Murid : Kekal kami!

Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!

Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!

Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh!



Murid : Belum, pandai!

Cikgu : Berdiri!

Murid : Duduk!

Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah!

Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!

Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni!

Murid : Cerdik kami tu!

Cikgu : Rosak!

Murid : Baik!

Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!

Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!

Cikgu : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)

hahahaha......funny funny

Classic one, remember seeing it before but its fun reading it again

HAhahaa... Keadilan vs UMNO... damn funny man.. thanks for sharing.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE




(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.


(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end
in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she
says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at
all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

( Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F--- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause
they know it's true!!!

Hahahaha... great lesson to learn~! know more to prevent silly mistake~ :p